Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
