I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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