T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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