That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
