Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
