You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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