i always forget guys have bellybuttons
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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