they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
