i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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