When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Can you repeat that, but with context?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
