i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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