is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
