I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
