I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
