dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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