have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he puts the penis in happiness.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
