Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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