you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
