im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
