Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize