I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
