I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
