Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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