Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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