are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
