nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
