Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
