The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
