God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
True college students do jello shots in the library
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
