I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
