You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
