OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just pee around me
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
