If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
