I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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