every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
