Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
