apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My feet surprised me
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
