$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
