dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
