I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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