3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
