i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
