Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
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