its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
