just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
NoShamevember. You game?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
