so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
