she woke up with a sticky ear
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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