I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
