Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
