How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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