Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
barbara walters just said penis...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
