Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
