So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My vagina is very pro this idea
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
